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We live in a crowded world and more than a quarter of our society is based on acceptance and socialization. Humans separate would not be at the place we are now. It is our tribal nature and how we move in packs that took us to the top of the food chain. This instinct still exists in a more complex form and although we don’t think about it, that pack mentality still controls many of our decisions (thus making it instinct). Before we had homes, cities or even clothing for that matter we were human. We may have been bigger and more archaic in nature but we were still human. Thus, our weaknesses of today were true thousands of years ago as well. One man could not take down a mastodon but 10 men with tools could. We learned through experience that we needed other humans to survive. Not just to recreate or to make our lives easier by giving someone else our job but for the survival of our civilization.
If you look today at others and yourself, you see our needs to be accepted and fit in. You see kids growing up wearing the “cool” clothes or following the crowd. There are a few leaders but most are followers seeking acceptance. This continues throughout your life. Of course, when you grow up and don’t have an adult telling you to be yourself and not forget whom you are, one tends to go in the direction of following again. This is also true for most that are in relationships. Sure, we need to recreate, but the true reason is an ultimate acceptance. Someone accepts you enough to live in the same house, see you every day and other things that entail a serious relationship, well you have been completely accepted. If it was just about reproducing then no one would reproduce, it would be one night stands all of the time. The same goes with friends and family. It is that acceptance of a group of guys or girls and also that of your blood related family that brings you closer to ultimate acceptance.
There are two points I am trying to bring up with that article. No, I am not influencing you to go get drunk and have kids with every person in town. Do you remember my article, pleasing the Senses”? Acceptance is one form of pleasing these senses. It is not the 6 that you learn in grade school but a mind sense that knows and has a good feeling due to this acceptance. Why would you being a part of a group make you feel better? What about that makes your life fulfilled? Actually, nothing about it does. It is the fact that someone agrees with what you are doing, represent, look like and etc. Of course, most cases that is not who you really are anyway and you are just putting on a show, but they don’t know that. The true reason we need acceptance and group mentality in these days is we are not sure of ourselves. Yes, a group of people or a social environment has shown to be more productive, less stress, and just overall happier people. The deeper darker meaning behind this happiness is due to our group instinct. We may not truly be happy. Some so-called “gothic” groups never smile, are pale and are adorned with black clothes and tattoos and the cool aspect of their genre is to be unhappy. Whereas, others that are seen happy generally have more productive lives filled with other happy people and also have more of a chance to find a life partner or just a once night stand.
My advice to you, if you don’t want to be a part of something, doesn’t. If you are having a good time, show it, and if not, well leave. You don’t owe anything to anybody unless you have set a basis or standard for owing something. I hope this puts some perspective on your life and why you primarily do certain things. Just step back occasionally and think about the things you do. It will surprise you.